My son has actually been doing pretty well, until he graduated in May. At first it was just little things that were happening, like drinking all of a special (non-alcoholic) drink the same day it was purchased without letting anyone else have any. Lately though, it is getting worse. He wants to stay up all night long (literally, he goes to bed when his brother gets up to go to school) and then sleep while everyone is at school. When he is awake and people are home, he is belligerent, uses inappropriate language (wouldn't be such a big deal if we didn't have a 9-year-old girl living here also), gets involved in every argument in the house, and says cruel things like."It would be a lot better if you keeled over.". He doesn't do anything positive like help out around the house or even search for a job. I mean, he's applied to a job here or there, but he isn't really working to find one. One of the biggest reasons we are having these problems is because his messed up sleep schedule is making him manic.
What makes everything worse is that if I try to address anything, I'm the bad guy. My husband certainly won't say anything and he doesn't want me to say anything because he thinks it's easier that way. His policy is basically to just let our son do whatever now "because he's an adult". Plus, he doesn't like dealing with the backlash of telling a bipolar child to do anything he doesn't want to do. It really bothers me that my husband does not back me up, or worse, basically tells me to stop. We are supposed to be a team. I don't want to let our son act like a complete douche-bag just because it's easier than addressing the situation. That's not good parenting in my opinion. And if my son (and apparently my husband) want to fall back on the "18 and an adult" logic, then maybe my 18-year-old adult needs to find somewhere else to go be an adult. THIS adult is tired of not feeling welcome in her own home and the extra stress. I have enough stress in my life as it is. Or maybe I should become as equally difficult to deal with as my son and then maybe I'll get to be the one gets backed up for once.
What would you do if you had an adult child living with you who was verbally/emotionally abusive, but unable to support himself because of not having any income? Would a mental disorder be enough reason for you to put up with it regardless of how it was affecting the rest of the family or would enough be enough? Let me know below.
What would you do if you had an adult child living with you who was verbally/emotionally abusive, but unable to support himself because of not having any income? Would a mental disorder be enough reason for you to put up with it regardless of how it was affecting the rest of the family or would enough be enough? Let me know below.
P.S. to My Husband
I know you'll read this babe and sorry if it upsets you, but...welcome to the club.
